When I Miss You…

 I listen to the songs we shared

Game at the books we discussed

Flip through the shows we traded

I remember the plans we made

The dreams we wished

The stories of our hearts..

I miss you. I miss us. I miss our time together, but on the phone and spent together in person. I miss your hugs and kisses. I miss your scent. I miss a lot of things, but most of all, I miss how consistent your laughs were when we spent time together.

Unfinished Letter to You..

 If I had known our hug would have been our last, I’d of held on a little longer. Squeezed a little tighter. Breather a little stronger, so I couldn’t forget your scent. My heart and soul cries for you. My eyes and arms cry for you. I cry. For you. This hurts, a lot. I’m sad, a lot. I just want to be able to fix whatever it is so we can be together. Thinking of our time spent together makes me happy then makes me sad to see/realize it’s the end.

Let Down

A love that I wanted

Didn’t want me,

Enough.

New Love = New Heartbreak

I haven’t been up here to write in years. Life’s just been moving and I haven’t taken the time to stop and write. I’ve yet to go a daywithout thinking of you. I struggle with writing openly, because I don’t want to push you any further than you’ve already walked away from me.. I do journal more, but I want my words to reach you. To soothe you in what feels like the most turbulent time (at least in my current life phase). The anxious attachment in me has sparked. My attachment system has been going haywire since that ill fated Sunday.

I’d say more.. but I don’t want to push my luck. I’m still rooting for you and hoping the best. Stay You… Always 

January Heartbreak

My cries fall upon deaf ears.

A tear stricken face in front of blind eyes.

Loved for the last time. Bittersweet.

He’s walking out the door. I have no choice but to watch.

I can’t make him stay. He wants to go. Taking my heart with him..

Taelor J. Ferguson

On The Bench [Lost Files]

 Sidelined
In the middle
Of the game.
Am I not enough
To get in
On a play?
My hearts pounds,
My stomach tightens,
I hate to admit
That I'm quite frightened.
What does this mean?
How could I have seen
This coming straight
Towards me?
I have no choice
But to listen,
To allow this change
You've been wishing.
I understand,
You need space.
I'll just wait
The end of this race,
Hoping I'll see your face
Once more,
With un-matching grace.

~Taelor J. Ferguson (6-22-16)

If Only You Knew [Lost Files]

 If only you knew
Just exactly what you do
To me.

Time ticks on
As you're gone
And I can't help
But miss you.
It seems as though
I've been struck
By cupid's bow
And arrow.
I'm love struck
And in desperate need
Of your touch.
Please return to me
My Love,
I'm running out of stuff
To do.

~ ​Taelor J. Ferguson (6-22-16)

Bad Habits : CE

Bad habits die hard
Some don't die at all.
I could tell mine didn't
When my head started spinning
Leaving me breathless
Over here clutching for my chest
Cause my heart felt the need to go into arrest.
My stomach tighten into knots
I feel like taking a couple shots
Just to get over you
But that option is long overdue unless you haven't got a clue that I've fallen for you and I can't get up.
I don't want to cause all I want is you
But you say you're not ready.
Well give me an amount of time so I can get into a frame of mind that I can handle and control and my friends won't have to patrol
Because they lost track of me all because I snuck away to cry in peace.
I can't imagine what you would think of me
If ever you truly saw the real me, locked away in a tower to never be reached until those walls are broken down..

Bad habits die hard
And I should know
For you're the one who made it show.

Millie J. Skosher

Faith in Me : CE

How do I know you trust me?
You won't even spill your own tea
Although your secrets are always safe with me.
I'm just trying to get to know you
How else could I make you my own boo?
I've poured my heart out to you.
I've shown you my scars
Yet the most you would do is rap about cars
While I'm sitting here with my head in the stars
Wondering just how far this could go.
What more must I do to show
That I'm here for you, so that we can grow.
Some receive an inch and take a mile
But I don't even know the trick to get you to smile.
I'm trying my hardest can't you see
I'd cross the sea if that was what you asked of me.
You say give it time
And I've been paying half a mind
To do so but I can't help what I feel.
I really need to know if this is for real
Or just another trial
Which will only leave me senile
In the end.

In the end it all comes down to be
In whether you have faith in me
Or it was only just a dream
Where you were being mean..

Millie J. Skosher