Mind Dump #1

I feel like the world is conspiring against me. It's like every time I make good progress for myself, something happens to keep me from progressing, something I cannot control. Why? What have I done to not receive happiness? I've always wanted the best for people, can I not receive the same in return? Am I truly a bad person to want to be selfish sometimes, to actually care about myself? So far, I've spent majority of my life caring about everyone else and not myself. I've always treated everyone with respect. I've always provided for people when I could. I was always there for them. But what do I get in return? Absolutely nothing. And those few who actually were there for me, guess where they are now. They're gone, no longer within my reach, or not least not in my reach to make a difference. The people I've allowed to get close to me, to love me, and I love in return, has left; whether it was of their own will or something they could not control. My life is full of nothing but sacrifices, very rarely do I receive anything, because when I do, they're stripped away from me, leaving me all alone. I never let my pain show. No one cared in the first place, so why should they now? After all of this, I just truly need ONE person who will stay with me to The End and After. I don't need temporary friends, I have enough of those already, they're called Classmates. Maybe I'm just meant to travel through this journey of Life alone. Maybe that's what it is, because so far, that's how it seems. What a world we live in, where the Good is Punished and the Bad is Rewarded to the Highest Degree.

Taelor J. Ferguson

Tell Me How.

How?
How does one
Readjust to a place
Where She feels
As though She
Does not belong?

She smiles.
She laughs.
She sings.
She dances.
She is full of hope.
She wishes.

Then Boom.
She hurts.
She cries.
She wants.
She needs.
She breaks.
She bleeds.
She's lost.

In a matter
Of minutes,
Hours, Days,
Weeks, Months,
Her World
Flips Upside Down.
She has to start over
From scratch,
And repair Herself
Just to survive;
Only to be Forced
To start over
Again.

All She ever wanted
Was to be wanted,
To be needed,
To smile,
To laugh,
To sing,
To dance,
To wish,
To be happy,
To be Herself.

Millie J. Skosher