I'm Not Good For You

I'm not good for you
If all this happens
In a course of two months.
Our feelings for each other
Are true,
But nothing but trouble
And arguing has happened.
We can barely have a day
Of peace and serenity
To ourselves.
I've lost what you claim
To have seen in me.
My chest heaves
As the thought of an end
Being so near.
I apologize for any pain
I may have caused,
And I know I've caused
A lot for you.

I'm sorry,
But I'm not good
For you.

Millie J. Skosher

It's Me

Who'd of thought
That I was the reason
That he 'changed'
So much.
His dear 'Friends'
Blame me.
I've 'made' him
Cut off the people
Who cared about him.
But that's not true,
I made him do no such thing.
He chose to,
All on his own.
I'm the one
Who tried
My hardest
To talk him
Out of it.

But no,
It's fine,
Blame me.
All you see
Is a change in him
Since we've gone out.
But that's not true,
He barely changed!
I've done nothing
but show him
That I care
And love him.
I need that love
In return too.

What did I
Ever do to you?
How am I
So unlikable
All of a sudden?
Well I apologize,
For being the cause
Of his change..
I'll just leave
Your life now.
Goodbye,
You won't hear
From me,
Anymore.

After all,
It's Me.

Millie J. Skosher

Betrayed

How
Would you feel
When One,
You've trusted,
Turns on you,
Leaving you defenseless?
You'd
Start to feel
Alone too...
Right?

I'm the pit
Of everyone's joke...
I'm the one
Everyone blames...
But I didn't do anything!
I guess it happens
When you're defenseless,
With no one to help.
Apparently,
I'm the root
To every problem
He's had
With his friends.

It's been me,
Always have,
Always will.

This very day,
I've been
Betrayed..

Millie J. Skosher

At The End Of The Tunnel

At The End of the Tunnel
All I See is Never-Ending Darkness.
Not Even the Faintest Hint of Light.
I've Been in this Tunnel so Long,
All I sleep, breathe, and think,
Is Darkness.
But I've come to call It Home.

I've Learned,
Nothing Good Stays for Long.
But If It Does,
Hold It Close,
For You Won't Receive
Another Opportunity
Just Like It.
Nothing Will ever be Given to You,
You Have to Work for It,
And I'm Learning that Now,
The Hard Way.

But Right Now,
At The End of the Tunnel,
All I See is
Never-Ending Darkness.

Millie J. Skosher

Unfair to Me

Is it not
Unfair to me
That I cant
Do this
Or that,
Simply because
I'm a female?
Do you not
Trust me
To do
The Right Thing?
After all,
It's my life,
Right?

I know
You're concerned for me
And all,
But I have 3 years
, Before I move out
And you're all alone,
By yourself.
Yes,
Enjoy our time together now,
But I do need room
To breathe,
To exercise
For the real world
Ahead of me.

It's Unfair
To Me
To hold me hostage
In this house,
Against my will.

Millie J. Skosher

This Time

This time
Things are different.
I want the best
For You
And Him,
But he needs me
At times like this.
You won't believe
How much
We've been though,
That's why
I can't
Leave him now
In the middle
Of everything.
I only wish
That you understand,
How much
He needs me,
And how much
I need him
In a way..

I apologize
For all the pain
I have caused.
But..
This Time..
Things are Different.

Millie J. Skosher

Mistaken Desires

Mistaken Desires
Can hurt the most,
Seeing as
You dreamt them up
Hoping that
They'd be true.

Mistaken Desires
Caught me today
As I was hoping
He
Was just like me.

I had thought
He was clean
And had no experience
Just like me.
But I found out
I was wrong
When he told me
He had banged
An ex of his
From long ago.
I was surprised
Only at first,
Until he mentioned
They wanted to
For their Anniversary.
Now,
Isn't that something?
I felt crushed...
He'll forever hold
A connection
With Her,
Which I thought
I'd of held,
Come time
For such a thing.

Mistaken Desires
Lead to pain,
And I
Should have known better
Than to fall victim
To
Mistaken Desires.

Millie J. Skosher

The Gentle Disease

It feels weird to walk...
I don't want to talk...
I feel dizzy,
Is the room spinning?

What's wrong
With me?
I'm never good
Enough
For someone..
For anyone.

I think I should just..
Keep to myself,
And leave everyone
Alone.
I am nothing
But a hazard
To others,
And myself.

Save yourself,
And be rid of me.
I am
The Gentle Disease,
For when I'm in your system,
I'll kill you slowly...
When trying to save you,
And myself..

Millie J. Skosher

Terrible

I'm a terrible person
To continually hurt those
All around me,
Even if I know it or not.
I never meant to..
But we never do.
Do we?

I'm not worthy of friends
Because in the end,
I only hurt them,
Pushing them away,
Yet wanting them around.
I need them...
And they may need be...
But they don't.
I'm too bad to be needed
Nor wanted.

I don't belong,
I'll miss them so..
But they're better off
Without me.

I'm a terrible person.

Millie J. Skosher

Better

Better
Things are getting.
I'm smiling
Once more.
True Happiness,
Something
I've never felt before.

A great feeling,
To be loved
And/Or liked.
I hope this feeling
Lasts for a while.
I hate for it to change
Because of something stupid.

It seems I may have hurt someone
Just to be happy
But can you blame me
When I've given up
My happiness
For the sake of another's?

From this moment forward,
It's all about me
And my happiness.
And nothing's going to stop me
From doing what I want to,
Not even the bs at home.

I vow,
To be happy
No matter what.

Millie J. Skosher

Pathetic

Pathetic
Is the first word
I think of,
When I see myself
In a mirror.

Why am I
On this planet?
If it's to hurt those
Around me,
Then I'd rather not
Be here.
At all.

Hurt me,
Destroy Me,
Cut Me,
But not the people
I care about.
I'll take the pain
And keep it inside
To myself.
Let me
Be the one
To cry
And get hurt.
But not them,
They don't deserve it,
But I do.

I am not special,
Nor am I of importance.
I'm nothing,
But a serious case
Of bad luck.
Enough!
With the lies
And misjudgments.
You see nothing
But the outside of me.
What about the inside?
Do I not have
Inner Beauty?
Am I that ugly
On the inside
That you see nothing
But the outside?

Why am I here?
I belong
Six feet under,
Watching everyone else
Be happy
Without my interference.
After all,
I'm a no good distraction.

Pathetic
I am.
Important and Special
I am not.

Millie J. Skosher

Confliction

Confliction,
Wanting one thing
And another
At the same time.

My heart
Says one thing,
And my mind
Another.
Why must things
Be so difficult?

I want to follow
My heart,
But my mind won't put logic
To my emotions.
It won't allow my heart
To have
What it wants.
My heart's never satisfied,
Thanks to my mind.
I don't mind,
Because I've done it
For many years,
And it's nothing new.

So please,
Ignore my heart,
Feelings,
Emotions,
Everything.
And listen
To my mind.
Go be happy,
Like I want you to be.
I'll be fine,
As always.
Waiting,
In the Shadows.

Confliction,
An everyday thing
Inside my head.

Millie J. Skosher

Disease

This is not
The first time
I've been used
To hurt one
I truly care for.

Why does this
Continue to happen?
Have I been cursed
With the gift
Of tearing apart
The worlds of those
Around me?
I'm a disease
And I need
To be
Exterminated!

Quickly!
Kill me now,
Before I cause
Anymore pain
To those I love.
I do not mean it,
But it happens
Anyways,
Every time.

Why?
Because,
I Am A Disease.

Millie J. Skosher

The Best You Ever Will Have

I'm the best
You ever will have.
But now,
You're a part of my past.
If we were meant to be,
We could have seen,
But you were just
To different for me.
So now I move on,
Happy as can be.
Because you and I,
Weren't meant to be.
It's only smart,
For you to move on,
You wanted to be friends,
But we don't belong.
This is my Farewell,
And final it is.
I've put much thought into this.
There will never be another like me,
Because I'm the best
You could have had.

Millie J. Skosher